Late

Today is October 21st, two days after my due date. I said through my whole pregnancy that I didn't want the baby to come early - I wanted him to be fully cooked. Also, I have loved being pregnant, and didn't want it to end. I was not all uncomfortable, like many pregnant women, so I saw no reason for it to end. And even now, I'm only intermittently uncomfortable and I feel fine enough to still be working. But my emotions are getting the better of me, and I wonder why he doesn't want to come out?? N says it's because I've provided such a good home, which sounds nice. Also, I'm sick of everyone asking me all the time...You're still here?...You haven't had the baby yet?...Are you feeling anything? Seriously, when it happens, you'll know! Especially my mom. I really appreciate her being here to help me out, but also she's driving me crazy already. Mayeb he will come tonight or this weekend.

38 weeks

Yesterday I was 38 weeks. At my 37 week visit the doctor said I was 3 cm dilated, and I got all freaked out, thinking the baby was coming any moment. Yesterday i went back and he said 3 1/2, so now I know it's tru what people say, it could go on like that for weeks. Which is good, because I don't want it to be over.

It took a long time to settle in to the idea of being pregnant, after waiting so long for it. So at first there was a lot fo anxiety. And then the gestational diabetes. And then the low amniotic fluid. But overall I've been very healthy - no migraines the whole time, and I hanven't caught any of those cold bugs that have been going around. Even when I was on bed rest those few days I felt good, and the baby was healthy. A while after the baby started moving, which I first felt on June 13th, I started losing the anxiety and getting really happy about it. And I have loved being pregnant. I think even more so because I know it's likely to be my only one. I mean, we're definitely no doing in vitro again - we couldn't afford it. So it may happen naturally, which would be great. But if not, I am so grateful to have this one. And I will definitely have fond memories of this pregnancy.

My mom is on her way to my house now, which is good. I feel better knowing she'll be here at the beginning. And my sister is coming too. I'm a little anxious about how and when and where things will really get started, but I'm not letting myself be anxious about the labor. It has to happen no matter what, so why worry? I'm sure N will be an amazing coach, and we'll get through it together. It's weird how I am so excited to meet the baby, and also so sad at the prospect of the pregnancy being over.