Tuesday, January 27, 2009

nursing home thoughts

There's something about having four days off that really makes work kick your ass when you get back. Yesterday and today have both been crazy, and I see no end in sight. I'm taking a few minute breather to write in here because otherwise I might start tearing my hair out.

I've had two resident die in the last 3 days, one sort of expected, and one a complete surprise, and both broke my heart. It definitely makes you think about the decision to work in long term care. In some ways, it wasn't much of a decision. My friend J got me the job at the small facility where she worked at the time, and then I transferred to the big house, which we call it because it is the biggest nursing home in the state, but it also houses the corporate offices for the company. And before I became a nurse I worked in central supply, in staffing, as a nursing assistant and a TMA. So when I got my RN, I could have left and moved on the the hospital world, but by then this already felt like home. You really build relationships with people here, and their families, which you can't do during a three day hospital stay. And most days I love it. Usually I don't say I love my job, because the paperwork and the bureaucracy I could do without. But I do love interacting with the residents and being a part of their day. They make me laugh a lot. And on days like today, they make me cry. I think it's worth it, because it proves they had an impact on me if I am so done in when the dies. But it doesn't make it any easier. And there's no time to mourn when there's so much work to do.

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