tats

I'm cool because comebacknikki gave me a shout out. Thanks!

Okay, I am really bothered by tattoos. I try not to be. I know many lovely people that have them, and I really don't try to be judgmental, but I can't stand tattoos. First of all, have a fear of hepatitis, among other things, so I wouldn't want to get involved in the whole thing. But aside from that, I really don't like how they look. It's like visual pain and awkwardness for me. So if I know you and love you and you have a tattoo, I apologize. But please don't show it to me if you can avoid it.

Arizona

So we went the weekend in Arizona with my mom. It was really good to see her. She seems very happy and their little conod is adorable. But still, I don't get it. I wouldn't live out there if you paid me. I know it is cold in Minnesota (not as cold as some people would like to think, but that's another issue), and sometimes N and I like to get out for a while in the middle of winter and go somewhere warm. But only for a short time, and then I look forward to being at home. Call me crazy, but it's December. December is supposed to be cold. A vacation is one thing, but having no winter at all would just depress me. And then I would rather be in Florida...Arizona is depressing.

On the lighter side, we did have fun. We saw some cool stuff, my mom was so excited to show off her home, we did our little Christmas present exchange. Also cool was that I got to see my friend D and his apartment. I miss him and hate that we don't see each other often, so I'm glad I got a chance to see his place and catch up a little.

Now I'm back at work, which is blah, but it's a short week.

Okay to stay at home?

Once upon a time, when N and I first started talking about the possibility of having kids some day (before we knew there would be agonizingly long years of waiting for it), the subject of one of us staying home with them came up. N was dead set against it. He cited the benefits of having a two parent income, as well as the benefit of the child being socialized in a daycare and preschool environment. All good arguments. But he also had some bias, because he had known some stay-at-home-moms and had seen the negative. They were unhappy, unfulfilled, complained about their duties and watched soap operas all day. Seriously, he said he had seen these things with some girlfriends' moms. I debated him. I said it didn't have to be all stereotype and it could be good for the child to have someone at home. A's mom stayed home and was great, and I believed in what she had done. A's mom (and Dad) are also the only hard-core Christians (that I know) that I really respect, because they are not hypocrites in any way. They don't say one thing on Sunday and do another all week long. If they believe it isn't right, they don't do it. So apparently her s-a-h-m example is stellar and out of the ordinary as well.

Now I have a friend that is staying home and I disagree with the decision. Which means nothing, of course, because it is not my decision to make. (There's only a slight chance that she'll read this. I want to make the disclaimer in case she does, but also because it is true: I have no right to judge, and I don't. Not really. I've just been confused about it for a while and I'm letting off some steam.) Anyway.

In the past, I have defended the s-a-h-m position. But I have seen the error of my ways. First of all, what good does it do the child to be around mom all day and not get used to being around other kids? Yes, there are play groups. But every day for 8 plus hours? No. And mom is usually at the play group, so it's not a separation, which the child needs. N and I both spent our early years in daycare and preschool and we both loved it.

The question of money is an issue too. It's non of my business in this particular case, and I haven't asked details. But I don't think they do much better than scrape by. And that seems unfair to the whole family if you ask me. In general, it's a concern I have because I see a lot of my friends having economic issues and it worries me.

And here's another thing. People end up either resenting that they are not with other adults all day, or talking about it. My friend L, whom I love, has said or implied numerous times that she no longer has anything in common with people or anything to talk about. Talking about the possibility of getting in touch with a guy she was friendly with in high school, she said to me, "I didn't call because he is a single guy with a career and I am a stay at home mom. What would we talk about?" Seriously? If I said that another friend was single and traveled for a living while I am a married nurse so we had nothing in common, people would think that was weird. If it supposed to be a career choice, then how does that make sense? And I fully support the idea that choosing to stay home should be just as valid a choice as a career in this post-women's-movement-world. Theoretically. But if you make this choice and it ends up making you feel isolated and out of touch, so much so that you comment on it, how can that be the right choice?

Like I said, just letting off steam. Maybe for some people it is the right choice, but I don't think I can support it.

Christmas Blues

For reasons I don't understand, Facebook will not load on my computer at work today. I have had to end task all three times I've tried. I haven't had any other internet-related issues today, but this one is making me mad. All I want to do is check in, but no, it won't let me. The fact that I have tried three times, coupled with the fact that I am now writing a blog about it, may make it seem like I have nothing better to do at work than hang out on the internet. (Not to mention making it seem like I'm obsessed with Facebook.) Neither of these things is true. I just have these little pockets of time during the day and I like to do a quick e-mail check, blada blada, and the internet being weird makes me annoyed. Blah.

I am totally not into the Christmas spirit this year. After three and a half weeks of Christmas music, I am already sick of it right when I should be getting into the mood for it. And buying presents will not be exciting. Everyone is on a budget, people are losing jobs, now is not the time for gratuitous spending. Plus, I'm not going to the Cape, where all the kids are, so I don't think I am buying for them this year. I am going to see my mom in Arizona, so I'll bring her some presents. She deserves it, after spoiling my butt all those years. So yeah. N, his parents, our parents. No friends are exchanging gifts, even, since everyone is so poor. But I will buy for my god-daughter, and N's god-daughter. That will be fun. And I'm making Christmas cookies, which I hope to give out to my neighbors. So there's a little bit of spirit, but overall it feels like a dull Christmas this year.

Aniversary gift

Well I went to the Holidazzle Parade in my silly shoes and I was not cold. Yay! It was slippery, because of those silly downtown sidewalks, but other people were slipping too and it was actually kind of funny. The tent was cool, we sat on bleachers and drank hot cocoa while watching the parade. Then we had dinner, after which I got the meat sweats because 28 ox is a lot of meat for two people to eat. But it's delicious. And we got free chocolate cake because we mentioned it was our anniversary. Yum!

Every year N and I get each other presents based on the traditional gift. For the 5th, it's wood. He got me a digital picture frame ( the actual frame is wood), which I already wanted! It's so cool. I can't wait to load it up with all our pictures.

Okay, I have nothing exciting to say today.

5 Years!

Today is our 5th anniversary. Yay! N and I will be celebrating by gorging ourselves on the amazing piece of meat shown here. It's a cute little intro. But yeah, 28 oz of strip carved tableside. Yum. Not to mention the salads and sides and garlic bread. We had it for our first anniversary and have been waiting 4 years to repeat it.

Before dinner we are going to see the Holidazzle Parade. It is now sponsored by Target, rather than Dayton's/Marshall Field's/ Macy's as it used to be. And we are watching from a heated Target tent, with hot cocoa and cider. Fun!

And it's a good thing too, (the heated tent thing) because other wise my coworkers would be freaking out. In honor of my anniversary, and the fact that I'm doing my first Christmas-related thing, I am wearing silver sequined flats that I bought on sale (at Target no less) and every one seems to think they will make me freeze. With a coat and hat and gloves, and socks, of course, I'm not sure how they would make a difference. Seriously, if you live in a cold place, you should be used to it by now. If it weren't for the wet snow ting, I would war sandals all year long.