Beep Beep

I'm standing at the desk at the fertility clinic, checking in, and this guy comes up next to me. He's tall and heavy and black, with a fro, and he's trying to hand a small paper bag to the receptionist. Consider the environment we're in, and you know what's in the bag. The receptionist won't take it, tell him he has to wait to be called back. Then, while we're still standing at the desk, a high-pitched beeping starts. I take my receipt and sit down, then big guy sits down, and I notice that the beeping moves with him. I look at the guy I just sat down next to, and see that he knows too. The two receptionists and a nurse are standing behind the desk looking curiously around. Big guy's looking unbothered, trying to hide the sperm-in-a-bag, but otherwise cool. The beeping is not super loud, but loud enough to notice, and no one can not think about it. The receptionists and nurse come out from around the desk, trying to triangulate the source of the noise. Other guy and I are trying to pretend to read our magazines. One receptionist stands next to big guy and looks up at the ceiling, saying she thinks it coming from up there. Big guy says no, it's coming from over there, pointing at the side of the desk he was standing in front of when the beeping started. The another nurse comes and calls him back, and as he exits the waiting room, the beeping follows him. I look at guy next to me and say, It was him! I knew it!," and he says, "I know, I couldn't say anything," and we're cracking up. I wanted to make a crack about him having a sperm alarm, but I thought it might be in bad taste.

When I went back and the nurse came in to the room I asked her if she found out what the beeping was about. She said that big guy had some alarm that went off when he was late for an appointment. He had never been late yet, so didn't know what the alarm sounded like. Really? First of all, no one is never late. Second of all, wouldn't you have tested this bizarro alarm thing when you set it up? (And I'd really like to know more about how it works. Do you have to push some button when you get to pre-programmed events? Otherwise how would it know you were late?) And then how do you not realize that the beeping is coming from you?

Probably it was not nice for other guy and I to laugh at him. But a tall, heavy black man with an afro holding a bag of sperm and beeping - it's not subtle.

Okay, I just read my little account and it's not nearly as funny as it was whn it was happening. Oh well. Deal with it.