confrontation

I had a really uncomfortable encounter with a resident's daughter today. We have clashed before, so I knew going in that it wasn't going to be pleasant. She had called my big boss and complained about a situation with her mom and my handling of it, about which I got an email. It just so happened that when I read the e-mail I had just seen her visiting her mom, so I went to find her.

Okay, so this situation started at the very end of February. Obviously, I can't talk about the actual situation. But there was a situation, the daughter was upset about it, she didn't like how I was handling it, I changed tactics and I thought it had been resolved. Now it's almost six weeks later, and I get this email. So I went to talk to her. She swears up and down that I said I would "follow up" with her, which I know I didn't do because A) I wouldn't say that in this kind of a situation, and B) there was nothing to follow up about, since I told her in person what was to be done. She got angry, I tried hard not to get angry.

I hate confrontation. N may not believe this, because I am okay with confrontation with him, the person in the world with whom I am the most comfortable. But it's hard to say to a resident's daughter, "Please don't use the word dumb, I am a professional and I don't appreciate that," without crying. Seriously, the womans said to me, "That was a dumb suggestion and you should have known better." Really? And then when I told her that I had been alerted by my boss that she was upset and I wanted to address it, she got all angry about that, yelling that she had been very calm on the phone, and why would something think she was upset? She made me look up the email and tell her what it said, and it actually said "very angry," so my choice of the word upset was actually backpeddling. In any case, she definitely does not realize how she comes off. What I really wanted to do was run away, but that wouldn't have solved anything. So I bit my lip, literally, not figuratively, and got through to the end. I think it ended well, and amicably, but it wasn't fun getting there.

I don'tknow why confrontation makes me cry. It's just a physical reaction...if there is a confrontation, tears immediately spring to my eyes. I have to bite my lip, or dig my nails in my hand or something to stop them from falling. I don't want to look weak, but I can't help it. Obviously, the actual arguemtn or whatever isn't fun either, but I would deal so much better if I didn't have to battle the water works the whole time.