open mind

Yesterday I wrote about me being judgmental, and today I'm going to talk about other people doing it.

About a month ago, I went to see Katy Perry at First Ave with a friend of mine, C. She's 28, I'm 31. It was 15 and up for the concert, which we found really amusing. I had been excited about it because I had never been to First Ave, and we were both excited because we think Katy Perry is adorable. And we had a blast. The opening band (The Daylights, I think?) was actually really good, Katy was even better live, and the whole atmosphere was just fun, fun, fun!

Then I tried to tell people about it. Other friends here, my friends and family at home (we went to the cape just days after the concert), and everybody rolled their eyes at me or made fun of me and didn't listen. Okay, I know not everyone has the same taste in music, but you could at least have an open mind. Just being young, or a pop artist, or having your music played on a certain station, does not mean you don't have talent. And not all music has to be so serious and deep. This used to drive me crazy about A, and now it drives me crazy with other people too.

My favorite bands are the Indigo Girls and Queen. I have pretty diverse tastes, and I appreciate real talent. But I also like new things and having fun with music, and I don't equate young and new with meaningless. I think if some of the people who rolled their eyes at me had been at that concert, they would have a different opinion. Like I said, Katy had the rare distinction of sounding even better live, as well as being very funny, self-deprecating and honest. I liked her, and I like her music now more because of it. And if I had blocked out that experience because of some misguided snobbery, I would have missed something good.

I'm not suggesting that every single person has to love every single musician. I do appreciate that people have different tastes. But if someone tells you about something they are into, and it is someone you trust or like in other situations, give them the benefit of the doubt and listen.

FYI, this goes for things other than music. And I have to point out that I hate it when people, of either gender, say things like, "I hate chick flicks." If you're female, I have the impression that you say this because you are hoping it will make guys like you more. Especially if you turn to the guy in the room and ask if he hates them too. If my husband is the guy in the room, you're out of luck - he likes them even more than I do. And if you're a guy who says it, I think you are insecure. I like that N made me go to the midnight showing of the Sex and the City movie (and was the only guy there), because I like that he can be himself with me and not be afraid of me judging him. Look, maybe some people do just hate the genre as a whole. But it seems strange to me that you would dismiss a whole category, no matter what it is. I would never say, "I don't like dramas." Or adventure movies, or comedies, or kung-fu flicks...whatever. Because there's probably one counterexample for each group. But maybe that's just me.

I guess it's similar to the feeling I had when I was doing a survey on Facebook the other day and came across a question about a movie I like that I wouldn't want anyone to know about. Why wouldn't I want anyone to know? If I like it, I have no shame in liking it. Do I think that Bring It On can compare in quality to Casablanca? No. But do I enjoy it just as much? Yes.

And it's the same with my reading. Everyone who knows me knows that I love to read. And I don't always have the most discerning taste. Again, I know that Twilight does not bear resemblance to Pride and Prejudice, but I loved it anyway. Sometimes, I have to admit, I do say that I don't like romances. But that's because I have read many of them, and feel that the formula is a little tired. But I still pick one up now and then, because sometimes it's just fun.

I guess the point is to be open minded and not just read or watch or listen to only one thing, blocking out all other options. Get out there, try some things, live a little. And be yourself. I mentioned before that I love that N can be himself with me, and I am glad that I can be myself with him as well. Too often I see people holding themselves back or trying to change because of a significant other. If you start out not being yourself, you either have to keep that up forever, or face what will happen when you finally let yourself out and they see the real you. So you might as well start out with representing the real you. Well, that's probably a rant for another day.