hypocrite

This is my 50th post. Huzzah! Not that it matters much, as I have a readership of aproximately 2. I never thought that I would be concerned about that. I thought I would do the whole blog thing as a way to journal without having to carry one around. But I find I don't treat it like that at all. I get worried that I'm not interesting, I try to think of topics, and I don't write what I would in a journal at all. So I started wondering how people get followers, and then I thought...I should start following others. But how? I have a hard time getting into another person's blog unless I know them...so I guess people would have that problem with me too. Ah well...I guess I'll just write for me and the other two, and move on with my life.

Here's an uncomfortable truth about me: I am judgmental. I pride myself on being tolerant and open minded, but I am a hypocrite. I am intolerant of people who are intolerant. It sounds stupid, but there it is. Therefore, I find myself in the position of cringing when someone says they are a Republican or have conservative views. (Keep in mind, this is mostly in reference to social issues...other things are lower on the totem pole for me.) Or worse, a friend on facebook has their beliefs lasted that way.

I know it seems strange that I would be concerned with being friends with a person with different views. I think people should get to know people with differeing opinions and learn from them...theoretically. But in practice, it is difficult. I often feel, when I'm with a friend who has opposite opinions from me, that I have to defend myself. I would be fine with agreeing to disagree and focusing on what we do have in common, but sometimes that doesn't seem possible. Certain friends can't stop themselves from broaching touchy subjects, and then I can either say what I really feel - which will lead to someone getting upset - or let it go - which will lead to me being frustrated with myself and my friend. Like religion, I think politics should not be discussed in company unless you're willing to get into it all the way.

I've discussed my political views before, and why I think it is better to have an opinion based on the idea that you are choosing for yourself, and not the world, so I won't get all into it now. And the same with religion, by the way. But in any case, I have a problem with my hypocrisy. My husband would say that it is better to know you are a hypocrite than to be one and not know...which is nice, but maybe not enough to get off the hook.

And while I do have some fear of discussions turning into arguments, I have to admit that I wonder, when I see someone listed as conservative, what really goes in their head. How that pours over into the rest of their life. I judge them, is what I'm saying. I need to work on that.