I hate yard work! And neighbors!!

In december 2007, N and I bought our dreamhouse. We loved it the moment we set eyes on it. Then we brought his parents to see it, and they loved it. And then, despite some issues with the crazy people who sold it to us, we ended up buying it. In the 17 months since, we have managed to unpack, put things mostly in a semblance of order, finally get pictures and things on the walls (mostly last week for the walls), bought a dog, pretended to train him...what I'm saying is, we've been busy. And clearly not always with the house, as it has taken us so long to get it this together. We love the house and working on it, but we also love traveling and spending time with our frineds, and relaxing with a book or a movie or...whatever.

The one thing that we have not really dealt with much is the lawn. When we moved to our dream house, N and I divided up all the chores. We figured that we could each just be responsible for our own things, not nag each other, and never end up fighting over something as stupid as who did the dishes today. And it has worked. I do my stuff, he does his, occasionally we each slack a little, the other one doesn't mention it, and we move on. The lawn, and all the outside stuff, is on N's list. N, as much as I love him and believe him to perfect for me, is not a working on the lawn kind of guy. I don't see that as an issue. I don't need him to be that kind of guy.

While I love having a back yard for the dog, I think the front yard is more of a burden. For one thing, crazy seller lady (CSL) and crazy next-door neighbor lady (CNL) made a flower garden in the plot of land between our two driveways. At the closing, CSL mentioned that CNL was afraid the new tenants would put asphalt over it (they had sliced a bit off our driveway, making me have to back out at a weird angle.) So when I met CNL, I assured her that I would not put asphalt over our half of the garden, but I also told her that I would not be tending to it. I told her she was free to tend to the plants on our half should she feel the need. Over the first few months that we lived there, she offered multipple times to teach me or give me tips, and I politely informed her that none were needed...I have no interest in gardening. She always meticulously cares for her half and ignores our half now, which I have no problem with.

So there you have N and I, who want to have nothing to do with yardwork, and mow as little as possible, and only under duress. N does mow, just not with such obsessive frequency as the neighbors. And out flower bed is messy. Personally, I'd rather mow over the damn thing, but I left it up because they are all perennials, and they're pretty, if not perfectly cared for.

So yesterday, I came home and checked my mail, as usual. And there was a note in there, which said,

Neighbor -

PLEASE mow and bag your lawn or have a lawn service come and do it!! And clean out your flower beds. Your neighbors are getting testy!!

Thank You

I left the punctuation as it was, and the capitalization of PLEASE, but there were also random letters within some of the words that were capitalized. Is the author not very smart, or were they thrown in to throw me off the trail? You be the judge. Anyway, I was pissed. An anonymous letter? Really??

Here are some of my issues with this.

1. The neighbors two doors down from me use most of their lawn as a circular driveway, and the rest as a graveyard for some kind of machinery.
2. The neighbors across the street from CNL have the cops there 2-3 times a week. (I have no idea why, I just see the lights a lot...and the lady across from me told me once about some gossip, but I wasn't listening. Have I mentioned that I'm not a big fan of neighbors in general??)
3. My lawn may be a little tall, but it's not a jungle. N mowed about two weeks ago.
4. Why, if this person (or people - the note said said my neighbors -plural - were getting testy. Are they having secret meetings about us?) thinks that my lawn is an issue, could they not talk to us about it? Or at least sign the note. How wimpy are you, that you have to leave an anonymous note in a mailbox??
5. Why do you have so much time on your hands, and why do you think that I do too? N and I both work full time, have a 45 minute commute, and have busy weekend lives. There's honestly not a lot of time for yardwork, even if we liked it. Which, as stated before, we do not.
6. What gives you the right to dictate what happens on my property? You want to pay my mortgage and taxes? If not, then back off!

Okay, I probably have more points, but that's enough. When I got the note, I went in and called N and I told him that I wanted to post a note on our malibox or in our yard. I had many options:

• Feel free to mow for us!
• Unsolicited advice will not be heeded!
• We do not negotiate with terrorists (or anonymous neighbors!)
• To anonymous: You're a coward!

But N told me to let it go. He said he had planned on mowing before my mom shows up (at the end of this week) and I said, not now you aren't. Let 'em sweat a while. We will not be bullied! (That would make a good sign too). He also discouraged me from going door to door until I found the culprit and then giving them a piece of my mind.

Yes, I probably overreacted. I have anger issues. We've been over this.

The point it, I really was insulted. It's not that bad. And if you can't have the courage of your convictions and say it to my face, you probably shouldn't be leaving me a note either.

So I talked to my mom and two of my sisters, and they had similar reactions (how do you think I got this way?) and I felt a little better. Then I posted a brief thing about it on Facebook and got a ton of responses, which made me laugh. Bringing in a goat to take care of it was my favorite. Go Mama Dixie! Anyway, I am mostly done being angry about it now, and have moved on to being amused. I wonder how long N and I can hold out before even we hate the lawn? Of course, I think that CNL and her hubby wrote it, only because it specifically mentioned the flower bed. (Which, by the way, is covered in wood chips, so it's mostly clean even without making the effort.) And if I see her in the driveway, I will ask if it was her, and let her know that the note was a cop-out. Even if she didn't write, I know she knows who did.

And on the happy side, when I was looking out the window by the front door yesterday, checking to see if anyone was out in their yard, I saw a bunny in mine. He was in the driveway, eating little weeds that pop up next the bush by my front door. He pulled one out by the middle, and the two ends were hanging down to the ground from his little mouth, and I watched him eat the whole thing, nibble by nibble. Super cute!!

Maybe I could train him to eat the grass....